Is someone dear to you near to the life-death treshold?
Loved one’s death/sickness coaching
- Someone close to you (or yourself) got a life changing diagnosis / accident / is dying or recently died?
- Someone dear to you is struggling with a (mental) illness and your relationships is stretched to its edges?
- Are you torn between your wish to support others and your own needs and emotions?
If you recognise yourself in the words above, chances are the essential questions of living and dying are in the foreground. And despite the intensity of the emotions surfacing with these questions, you are expected to function in your life and support others.
Only if you are well enough, you can support your dear ones in moments of crisis.
Dock into a calm harbour
I support you to find capacity, allowing you to be resilient during times of life-death’s turmoils. I deeply listen to you and hold space for what is present in your life in this moment. So that you can feel what has to be felt, decide what you have no capacity for at this time, and clearly see what has to be done next. Through our conversation I provide you with a calm harbour where you can dock in, rest and reorient yourself.
Additionally I can recommend tools and methods that can support you and keep you balanced (self-/co-regulation / body and nature based integration methods / self designed ceremonies / creative expression).
- What is a good way to die?
- What kind of life is worth living?
- What can I do to help a beloved one?
- What should I tell/ask her/him, now that I still can?
- How can I say goodbye?
- What should I do with all these mixed feelings coming up in me?
- How can I find out which decision to make?
Why asking for support?
Sharing what you are experiencing with friends, family, a coach or a therapist who deeply listen increases your capacity to cope with challenging situations. Not being alone when one feels overwhelmed increases one’s capacity to feel the emotions which are present (rather than push them away). You are welcome to mourn and integrate the experience in a healthy way that pays off in the long run. This comes from the way the human nervous system copes with distress.
When we are emotionally challenged by something we perceive as a threat, our nervous system switches from a relaxed, clear minded, long term oriented and creative functioning mode (neuroception of safety) into “survival mode” (neuroception of danger).
In this state we are driven by fight-flight reflexes, we tend to react emotionally and are not able to empathize with others nor to deal with complex situations. We may get into conflicts (fight) or avoid challenging situations (flight). If the situation gets worse and we keep feeling emotionally overwhelmed, our nervous system will switch to “freeze mode” (neuroception of life threat).
In this state we “emotionally shut down”. We are not anymore able to access our emotions and feel numb. Our thoughts become dissociated from our body’s perceptions and emotions. We are more like a robot than a feeling human. In this mode, we are not able to process the emotions that cumulate in our system, even if from the outside we seem to keep functioning. (References: polyvagal theory…)
I can help you during a moment of crisis to gauge which mode of operation you are in. This allows you to know what are their possibilities and limitations – and therefore not expecting yourself to feel or do things which are not accessible to you right now.
When you share what you are going through and you feel truly seen, our nervous systems synchronize and it is as if your capacity to cope with emotions doubles. This allows you to come down into a state in which you can process emotions, feel your body and be able to look at what it is important to you and your dear ones right now.
Why working with me?
Besides my training as an integral-systemic coach and in the art of living and dying (School of Lost Borders tradition) I navigated several turmoils in my personal life. For e.g. I was at my father’s side as he got a cancer diagnosis and died; I experienced my mom’s bipolar depression, manic states, and medications/ hospitalisations; I sat with the information that a mistake was made in the brain surgery of my mom not knowing if she would wake up from intensive care; learned to live with the strengths and challenges of a partner with an ADHD neurodevelopment.
Having my own experiences with extreme emotional challenges provides me with the ability to navigate in the “middle of the storm,” with no stable ground beneath.
I understand that you are in a different context, have your own “bad weather” and strategies to cope. You can see me as a fellow sea-woman with whom you can share your (mis)adventures and “navigation” tips.
Please note that I am NOT a trained trauma therapist, psychologist or psychotherapist. This means that when we work together we keep gauging if we have the capacity to hold the intensity of the questions and emotions we are touching upon. If you need support beyond what I can offer I will recommend you a specialist.
Let’s meet in the midst of the storm and breath together,
Let the wet checks remind us of the winds and depths of the ocean.
How do I work? - Coaching Online and in Berlin
Online video coaching
- 1 trial session à 60 minutes
- 6 sessions package à 60 minutes
In person in Berlin
Walking in the park or indoors coaching:
- 1 trial session à 90 minutes
- 6 sessions package à 60 minutes